How do you learn to be a parent? “It comes naturally,” some folks think. You birth a baby, and you deal with it. It’s common sense.

However, it is not common sense how to raise a baby, especially if you rarely see parenting behavior modeled. Children learn how to become parents mostly by observation, not by instruction, according to a recent article in the Journal of Education, Society and Behavioural Science.

The authors cite a litany of reasons for a “falling standard of parenting in the 21st Century,” including:

• More women working in jobs that keep them out of the home for long periods of time.
• Working fathers not making up for the lost parental time due to working mothers.
• Children “[feeling] abandoned and [suffering] self-esteem issues.”
• Permissive parenting turning control over priorities and scheduling to children.
• Children being increasingly raised by technology.
• The increasing percentage of single-parent households.

The researchers point out that “the number of single father households [in the United States] increased rapidly between 1960 and 2011 from less than 300,000 to more than 2.6 million.” In fact, the share of children living in single-parent households ballooned from just 5% in 1960 to nearly 25% in 2020.

Some very interesting long-term studies show that the amount of time men and women spend parenting is remarkably stable over decades, with the exception of during the COVID-19 pandemic, when extra parenting duties were forced upon both mothers and fathers. And the amount of time spent parenting is not a determining factor in how well children perform in school.

In fact, researchers at Bowling Green University published a study that for children aged three to adolescence, there is “no relationship between the amount of time parents spend with their children and their emotional health, behavior and even academic achievement.”

So it isn’t that children are deprived of the necessary parental attention. According to Tulsa Kids & Family, it’s the quality of parental time, not the quantity, that makes a difference in educational outcomes. An hour of fun and games does a lot more for a child’s mental health than an hour of being yelled at.

The study found that the amount of time spent parenting children (not infants) did not impact educational outcomes; it also found that “stressful mothers” are “affecting their kids poorly.” Parents creating stressful household environments are transmitting anxiety to their children, which results in worse outcomes for children’s behavior and levels of happiness.

The research published in the Journal of Education, Society and Behavioural Science says that to improve parenting outcomes, parents need to:

• Demonstrate self-leadership skills
• Show fairness in disciplinary skills
• Help their children develop social skills
• Improve their ability to connect
• Focus on positive behavior, not just negative behavior

Researchers from a different field may have a much more compelling solution to the crisis in parenting: Give struggling parents money!

Working Paper #34040 from the National Bureau of Economic Research examines the impacts of cash transfers to impoverished families. Parents were “randomly selected to receive a $1,000 per month unconditional cash transfer for three years.” Not surprisingly, they “spent more on their children each month and reported better parenting behaviors” compared to those randomized to receive $50 per month over the same period.

One thing that made a noticeable difference: child care. “The transfer also increased the use and quality of non-parental child care,” researchers report. So, increasing not only the amount of parental interaction, but also the amount of “quality” non-parental child care.

One very notable outcome was reduced parental stress and “mental distress.” We have shown here at AddictionNews how childhood stress drives addiction. That stress begins with parents and caregivers and is transmitted to infants and children. Programs such as cash transfers that minimize parental stress and teach new parents how to communicate better with infants and manage infant stress pay big rewards in adolescent resilience.

So, the key to better parenting isn’t more time to parent; it’s more money to hire child care. This results in greater adult interaction with children and reduced stress on the part of parents. The reduction of parental stress is likely the number one factor in increasing educational outcomes and increasing teenage resilience to substance abuse.

Written by Steve O’Keefe. First published October 5, 2026.

Sources:

“Falling Standard of Parenting in the 21st Century: The Way Forward,” Journal of Education, Society and Behavioural Science, February 15, 2023.

“The Impact of Unconditional Cash Transfers on Parenting and Children,” National Bureau of Economic Research Working Paper #34040, revised September 2026.

“Does Time Parents Spend with Kids Really Matter?,” Tulsa Kids & Family, March 31, 2015.

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