During the winter holidays, social media websites heat up with a certain type of traffic: communication between people who do not want to lose their sobriety, and others who are on hand with encouraging words, helpful suggestions, and sincere prayers on behalf of the people in distress.

This year, a Facebook group favored by inhabitants and fans of Venice Beach, California, contained a sequence of messages from a former street performer who reported on the progress of his mother, who was in hospice care, toward her demise. Tony reported that he was very tempted to drink, while friends and strangers replied with utmost caring and reassured him that he would be able to get through this crisis without falling back on alcohol.

Some of the respondents were strangers who remembered Tony from his days as a boardwalk celebrity. Others who replied had been personal friends for decades, and some had even been fortunate enough to know his mother, who held a special place in their hearts. Some offered reminders of the many reasons why drinking at this point in life would be a very regrettable mistake. He would lose his seven years of sobriety and have to start over.

“Your drinking again will only make things worse, you know that,” said one. “Honor your Mom with your sobriety,” urged another. Although his mother’s conscious mind was beyond knowing any earthly thing, her spirit would feel disappointment and pain from realizing that something she had done — even if it was dying, which she couldn’t help — had contributed to her son’s downfall. The grieving son was of course fully aware of all these drawbacks, but expressed gratitude to the friends who listed them anyway.

The messages were not all warnings, of course. Many friends affirmed how proud they were of him for making it this far. They didn’t just say it once, they came back day after day and night after night to repeat the uplifting words. On one of the long painful days he remarked that he actually didn’t feel like drinking, but the next day the urge was bad again.

The religiously inclined reminded Tony to lean on God. A woman promised that her prayers were directed toward the Virgin Mary, and would surely convince the mother of Jesus to lift the burden from his soul. The forward-looking reminded him that this would probably be the hardest thing he would ever have to face in life, and if he could get through it, nothing would ever again be so traumatic. His mom passed a few days before Christmas, and as far as is known, no alcohol has been involved.

While some people cause concern because they seem to be addicted to social media and other online temptations, others may owe their very lives to the support they receive from social media. At Facebook, for example, there is a group with a name we can’t fully spell out here, but it appears to work wonders. (Sources are not cited because the writers are anonymous anyway.)

A woman looks back to when she spent the winter holidays in a treatment facility, saying,

It was the best place for me to be at the time. And here I sit 45 years later still sober and clean. If I can do it you can do it. One day at a time.

A 64-year-old man reports that he sobered up with the help of a Veterans Administration facility and then went to culinary school, and now is employed as a kitchen manager. For him, no more wasted opportunities, failed marriages, or homelessness.

Another member of the “Yes I F***ing Can” group reports,

After struggling with addiction for years, I am 1,000 days clean, was accepted to my local University and accepted a new position in the field I’m most passionate about. I am insanely happy and fulfilled with my life. It. Gets. Better. I promise!

“If I could do it, you can too” is an oft-repeated message in these posts. Recovering alcoholics seem to enjoy recalling how incredibly hooked they were, to the point where it almost seems like bragging — but there is a good reason. They want others to clearly understand that no matter how ugly the situation may be, hope still exists. Bruce M. writes,

Every morning is a new chance… I’m watching myself closely. Not scared, but ready. My scars aren’t weakness — they’re proof I survived. Each day I wake up is a win… Recovery isn’t a finish line. It’s a daily fight. And every day, I choose me.

Another man writes,

19 months sober after a lifetime of alcoholism. This one has to stick because I don’t have another “one more time” in me.

Of course, he receives encouragement and praise. Some participants make a special point of reporting to the group when they reach a special landmark, like their first anniversary. A woman states that one year ago, she finally allowed herself the opportunity to be reborn. She had lost custody of her children and was facing eviction. She writes,

My soul was defeated and my body withering away. I was inches from death… I started doing things animals do before they die, I made a small hiding place under the stairs where I would try to sleep because if I didn’t wake up, I didn’t want my children to find my body.

Desperate people look for encouragement, while others offer hope by relating their own appalling histories. Especially during the winter holidays, they find each other online. Many members post before-and-after photos of themselves, and some of the “befores” are truly horrific. Some find the courage to leave a partner who is in even worse condition, like the woman who wrote,

I am an alcoholic of 25 years and I’ve been sober for 1 year. I took back my life, I moved out and got my own apartment and my divorce is finalized. I am working on healing and finding myself. Everyday is a battle but I’m winning. This is my first Christmas in my new place and it will be different, but amazing. I’m living life with open arms.

Written by Pat Hartman. First published December 27, 2024.

Image Copyright: Owen Allen/Attribution 2.0 Generic