A TV series called Hidden Palms makes some pretty cogent points about teenage alcoholism in relation to society at large, and about family attitudes toward young people needing help. Johnny is a teen who saw his father fatally shoot himself in the head. Within months, his mother remarries and the small new family moves to Palm Springs.

In one pertinent scene, Johnny says, “I was thinking about going to a meeting.” His mother objects — “So soon? We just got here.” Johnny reminds her that the group that helped him get sober had suggested daily meetings. The mother, motivated perhaps by wishing to not see her son stigmatized by the implications of meeting attendance, says, “That doesn’t seem very practical. New town, new home… I thought we were done with all that.”

The underlying premise here is that since the family now lives in such an earthly paradise, there should be no need for Alcoholics Anonymous. In the confines of the mother’s limited understanding, now that her son has quit using his substance of choice that chapter of his life is closed.

But the new stepdad comes down on Johnny’s side. “If that’s what the farm suggested….” — and Mom goes off on a tangent — “It was a ranch, Bob.” Johnny reminds her to stick with reality:
“It was a drug and alcohol rehab, actually.” Finally, Mom gives in. “Well, then we have a plan.”

As anyone experienced in this area of life can attest, sobriety is not the final destination but only the first stage of a lifelong quest. Detox is not treatment. How do we know this? Because many individuals have detoxed time and time again and then, sooner or later, resumed using their substance of choice. Technically, a person cannot truly be said to be sober until they are deceased. In the strictest sense, as long as the possibility of relapse is still present, nobody can be said to be cured.

On the official Alcoholics Anonymous website, the section “Sobriety vs. recovery: Deciphering the key differences” draws the distinction.

Sobriety refers to the absence of substance abuse, a critical step that signifies the cessation of alcohol or drug use. However, achieving sobriety is just the beginning. Recovery delves deeper, encompassing not only the physical abstinence from substances but also the holistic healing of the individual.

Sobriety is a state, while recovery is a never-ending responsibility to dig into the emotional, psychological, and behavioral patterns that led the person into addiction in the first place. And in a perfect world, everyone would be aware that addressing those patterns is a lifelong process — even for people who have never been engulfed by addiction. “True healing goes beyond just staying sober.” The evidence for this is the very small number of perfect humans who populate the earth at any given time.

The long and short of it is that recovery cannot be embarked upon until sobriety is achieved — which is not the end but merely the first condition upon which recovery is based. For recovery, sobriety is a necessary but not a sufficient condition.

Alcoholics Anonymous is very strict about this, and even uses the blunt phrase “dry drunk” to describe someone who is sober but has not set out on the path of true recovery. Various dangerous health issues may still be present, along with other destructive behaviors, in addition to a pile of wreckage consisting of devastated unrepaired relationships. Because fundamental changes have not been made, the danger of relapse is ever-present.

“People in recovery have the greatest chance of maintaining long-term sobriety. Better yet, they have the opportunity to live a happy and productive life that is free from addiction.” And it takes a very rare person to accomplish this result on their own.

Another organization restates the basic premise:

[W]hile many of us can put the drugs and alcohol down and become sober or clean, that doesn’t necessarily mean that we are in recovery. Recovery is the active practice of working towards your betterment, not just abstaining from a substance.

This website enumerates some of the characteristics of true recovery: learning to love ourselves and others; finding peace; continually becoming a better person; owning up to our actions right or wrong; relinquishing the role of victim; and making amends beyond just a perfunctory “Sorry.” Recovery is not a one-time occurrence or a static condition, but a daily, ongoing, lifelong journey.

Yet another organization describes sobriety as not an end goal but an important milestone in addiction recovery. After the 12 steps to sobriety have been accomplished, sobriety itself is recognized as a brand new first step toward recovery. It is a step that…

[…] goes beyond simply abstaining from substance use. It involves addressing the root causes of addiction and making positive changes in all areas of life. This can include therapy, support groups, and making healthier choices in relationships, career, and hobbies.

Abstention from substances is the foundation for a lifelong process that takes solid commitment and ongoing effort. Recovery involves not only addressing the underlying causes of addiction but also the resolve to make positive changes in every area of life. This group affirms,

One of the most significant benefits of recovery is the sense of purpose and fulfillment that comes from living a life aligned with one’s values and goals. By making positive changes in all areas of life, individuals can find meaning and purpose in their recovery journey.

It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong path to recovery. What matters most is finding the path that works best for you and seeking support and resources along the way.

Written by Pat Hartman. First published November 22, 2024.

Sources:

“Hidden Palms,” www.imdb.com, undated.

“Unveiling the Journey from Sobriety to Recovery,” AAMeetings.org, June 22, 2024.

“The Difference Between Sobriety & Recovery,” TheRecoveryVillage.com, June 8, 2020.

“Recovery vs. Sobriety: What’s the Difference?,” FHERrehab.com, January 12, 2015.

“Sobriety vs. Recovery: Understanding the Key Differences,” TheRehab.com, December 20, 2023.

Image Copyright: Mike Burns/Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic.