Has the theme of starting a new year been exhausted? Hardly! Today’s post deals with assorted matters related to addiction, or rather, to the ending of addiction; and a major component of it is self-honesty.

A significant aspect of that virtue is the defining of boundaries, because when a boundary eventually shows up, the ability to recognize it is essential. If a person is willing to settle for anything less than total self-honesty, this is, of course, destructive to every self-improvement trick in the book. When that syndrome kicks in, boundary recognition is the least of your problems.

One type of boundary says, “This is the milepost you were aiming for, and… You’re here!” Another word for it is success, and one of the first tasks of a quest is to define that term, so you will recognize it when you see it, and know that your destination is practically underfoot. Many of us were brought up to worship success, and many others were taught to despise it. How is success to be measured? Who is the decider? (If it is anyone else but you, possibly more work remains to be done.)

Casco Bay Recovery has been quoted here before because they seem to make a lot of sense about some matters, and this is one of them. A very thoughtful essay on understanding why January resolutions so often crumble into dust before February even gets a toehold, includes these words:

Many people set vague goals like “drink less” or “get sober” without defining what success actually looks like or how they’ll measure progress. These unrealistic goals for sobriety lack the specificity needed to create actionable steps, leaving individuals without a roadmap when challenges arise.

The season itself is hazardous in many ways because a lot of emotion is involved, and the odds of relapse are ferocious. A person forgets to beware of the danger, or in many cases underestimates it. Casco Bay is particularly concerned with recovery from alcohol addiction, but the same basic principles apply over a wide experiential area.

Big Problem #1 is that you relax your vigilance and underestimate environmental cues. You somehow wind up at a party with the same crowd you’ve been holiday partying with for years, and next thing you know, you’re telling yourself a pathetic little story about how just one drink won’t hurt.

An opposite but equally problematic reaction is also possible, which is isolating yourself too much. To escape this trap might involve some moves that are kind of a drag, like hanging out with sober friends and family members. Here’s the thing: Even if they are boring, they know and love you. Maybe you wore them out, and they wished for a while that they had never met you. Still, it is quite possible that they would love to revive the relationship. Give them a chance!

Then, there is the personal trigger, and Casco Bay frames it like this:

Each person’s relationship with alcohol is influenced by specific factors such as stressors, emotions, and certain situations. It’s essential for individuals pursuing sobriety to identify these personal triggers and develop strategies to manage them effectively.

Maybe it doesn’t sound like much, but this is the exact area in which we fallible creatures find it obscenely easy to lie to ourselves. Personal triggers are so familiar, we accept them like breathing oxygen, and never notice when poison gas has been substituted. The Casco Bay institution offers four strategies, coming up in a minute.

This interruption was not their idea, but here is a hint to anyone who really wishes to define boundaries in a useful way, and to recognize success when they encounter it. Any participant in this exercise is beseeched to, before reading each item, preface it with “This means me!” or “They speak directly to me!” or perhaps a crisp “Listen up!”

Here is the list (and see the original for more details):

Identify and cultivate your support network.

Develop new routines.

Practice self-compassion.

Stay connected to your “why”.

Written by Pat Hartman. First published February 20, 2026.

Source:

“New Year’s Resolution Sobriety: Why It Fails,” CascoBayRecovery.com, December 22, 2025.

Image Copyright: ErikaMuth/Pixabay.